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Everyone has an opinion about Dylan Mulvaney. The author and internet megastar, who shot to fame through her ‘Days of Girlhood’ TikTok series, can elicit vein-popping responses with just a selfie. How? By existing joyfully as a transgender woman (no mean feat in today's hostile political climate).
Dylan is an unwilling, but not ungracious, figurehead within the culture wars. Her most infamous foray into the conflict started with a can of Bud Light. In her new memoir, Paper Doll: Notes From a Late Bloomer, Dylan dubs the resulting backlash ‘Beergate’, describing it as “some of the worst levels of transphobia" she'd ever received. An innocuous sponsored post triggered a fevered boycott of Bud Light, with sales dropping by nearly 30% and several factories having to shut down due to bomb threats.
How does anyone come back from that? Ask Dylan Mulvaney. In the two years since the worst of the boycott, she's performed a one-woman musical comedy at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, released her debut single, and, of course, written her memoir, Paper Doll. In her GLAMOUR Unfiltered interview, she talks about surviving the Bud Light boycott, her relationship with femininity, and her message to the LGBTQIA+ community.
GLAMOUR: What makes you feel most empowered as a woman?
Dylan Mulvaney: What makes me feel the most empowered is when I stand up for myself, which isn't always often, but when I do, I'm generally quite proud of how I navigate advocating for me. It usually isn't with fighting words, even though sometimes I am tempted.
What’s the best and worst thing about being a woman in the public eye?
The best part is when I'm feeling really pretty, and I'm feeling myself, and I get to share that euphoria with millions of people. And the worst part is when I'm not feeling myself, and yet I'm being perceived, or people feel entitled to things that I'm not ready to share.
How do you deal with online trolls?
I generally stage imaginary fights with them while I'm in the shower. And then, by the time I get out of the shower and back on my phone, I usually have worn myself out enough not to attack back.
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In Paperdoll, you write about the moment your dad first referred to you as his daughter. How did that make you feel?
I just felt so grateful for his support and I didn't think I'd ever have that. It made me realise that just because I wasn't able to live my life fully early on, that didn't mean that I wouldn't be able to live it now. And I just love my dad. Hi, dad!
Did transitioning change how you view sexism in society?
Absolutely. I lived my life being perceived as a gay feminine man for a number of years, and I would never claim that I have a full grasp on the nuances of sexism in relationship to womanhood, especially this early on in my transition. But I've watched, and I've learned, and unfortunately, have experienced quite a bit of toxic sexism even in my short time. And I can only imagine what it would be like for someone to endure that for their entire life.
What’s your secret to serving on the red carpet?
I think smiling is the real serve these days because not everyone's confident enough to do it. And if you're on a red carpet, life is pretty good. But I will say photographers that tell me to smile, I don't love that. I will smile on my own time. Thank you very much.
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How does beauty make you feel empowered?
I think beauty's really fun, and it's not everything to me, especially now that I feel a lot more settled in my transition, but it is something that I don't see myself letting go of anytime soon.
What is the biggest misconception people have about you?
I think people assume I'm obnoxious and camp 24/7, but when I'm not making videos or performing, I'm relatively chill. I'm still fun, but I think I have a tender side that I show to my loved ones.
What’s the main thing you learned after doing your ‘Days of Girlhood’ TikTok series?
Ooh, I learned there's a reason to not show the beginnings of a transition. Just kidding. But I learned that people don't deserve to know everything about you because a lot of them don't have your best interest. And I should only share what I have already made peace with.
How do you prioritise and protect your mental health?
I feel more protective than ever over my mental well-being, especially after Beer Gate, because now I know how low I can feel, and I have no interest in going back there. So if I feel like something is going to trigger me, I slow down, I unplug. I call my life coach or my best friend, and I talk it out.
In a time of attacks on the LGBTQIA+ community, what is your message to other members of this community?
Babe, most of these things that these people are attacking us over are actually the most iconic things about us. So don't you dare let go of them.
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In 2023, you experienced “the worst transphobia” you’ve ever experienced after appearing in a “generic beer brand” commercial (per Paper Doll). How did this backlash impact you and your relationship with fame? How did you build your confidence again?
It changed the fabric of my entire life going forward, but if I can make it through that, I think I can make it through anything. And I built my confidence back up with my friends, my fellow dolls. But I also did ayahuasca in Peru, which majorly helped.
You write that Jonathan Van Ness was a huge source of support for you during this time. Can you tell us more about your friendship and how they supported you?
I have gone from fan to friend with many of my role models, but JVN was the one who made me laugh the hardest when it came to some of the darkest days during Beer Gate. They are quite literally joy personified, and I am so lucky to have them in my life.
In your book, you talk about being a “Trans It girl”? What does this mean to you?
Very rarely do I feel like I embody It Girl status. And there is no real definition other than just the overall vibe. But I think that being a Trans It Girl is when you don't care how other people interpret your transness. And you are the kind of girl the other dolls want to be friends with. I think of Alex Corsani… she is so It Girl.
How do you navigate the pressure to be feminine, especially as a trans woman?
I love leaning into my femininity. So I got lucky in that way. But I think if I feel pressure to be feminine, I ask where is that coming from? And if I can self-correct it because I only feel my best when I'm listening to my own intuition and not to other people's opinions.
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How has your relationship with your body image evolved?
I'm loving my body lately. I am not totally where I want it to be yet, but I am enjoying the journey, and I think it's pretty cute.
Why is the word ‘queer’ important to you?
Queer is the word that I feel best describes my sexuality and kind of my personhood in general. But it's also fun because I've reclaimed it, given that it was a slur back in my day… smear the queer. You ever heard of that game? I played it, and I was the queer.
What does ‘trans joy’ mean to you?
Trans joy is the purest form of enthusiasm I have ever experienced or witnessed. I believe it's magic, and I wish that it could be bottled. It sort of feels like Christmas every day.
Do you feel the pressure to be a role model to other young trans women and girls? How do you navigate this?
I still find it hard to believe that I'm someone's role model because I still feel like I don't know what I'm doing. But if what I've put out there can be a help to anyone else feel a little bit closer to their self, that just makes me so happy.
How has your relationship with your mum evolved?
I love that it's MUM, I love the UK. My relationship with my mom has really evolved throughout the book because I've been very protective over my family up until this point. I wanted to show that we can always find the love and we continue to find it. I was on the phone with her today and we talk almost every night. She's amazing and I love her.
Paper Doll: Notes From A Late Bloomer (Sphere, £22) is out now.
For more from Glamour UK's Lucy Morgan, follow her on Instagram @lucyalexxandra.
While Dylan's experience of girlhood may have come later, it's still valid.
