Munroe Bergdorf & Bel Priestley | Trans Day of Visibility

You are a mother to us.

Any opportunity

to age me, this one. No, guys, it's not that.

[speaker in blue laughs]

What did your coming out journey look like?

I came out as gay when I was nine

or 10, but it wasn't the right fit.

Like something didn't make sense.

Seeing people like you in the media,

as soon as I saw that, I knew straight away.

It was like a missing puzzle piece really.

It was a really difficult time.

I think everything happened so quickly

and my life has kind of been

this snowball in the last 10 years.

Like I don't think I've ever processed

what I went through at school

and I think it will take me a lot of time to deal with that.

Being friends with you and doing this with you

is just like the biggest full circle thing.

I've always said this to you.

Yeah. Well it's for me as well

because, you know, I started my career

in the media I guess, like a decade ago, like 10 years ago,

and there just wasn't any people

that I could see myself in.

I mean there were no black trans women

in the media at that point.

Yeah. And there definitely

wasn't any trans social media activists,

or there wasn't

any trans influencers. Yeah.

My coming out story, I mean I've come out

like three times. Okay.

So I came out as gay when I was 14,

trans when I was 23, 24.

Can't remember, it was a blurry time,

and then I came out as bi when I was 30.

I came out as gay to my mom

after school in the car.

I was waiting- I came out to my parents

in the car.

Why does everyone come out in the car?

Well, I was thinking someone's gonna swerve off the road.

That was more my concern

at the time. [speaker in white laughs]

It was raining outside.

Yeah. It was literally just like-

Oh, I remember it so vividly.

Going down, I was like, Are you proud of me?

Would you be proud of me even if I didn't like girls?

It was just, it didn't go down

how I thought it was gonna go down.

I think that a lot of the time our parents,

or the people that love us,

have an idea or a desire for us to be safe and seen

and happy in the world,

and when the world is telling them that you can't be happy

and be gay, or you can't be happy

and be trans. I think the big thing is

it's then what does the future look like?

I think that's something

that really concerns parents- Exactly.

All the time. Which is why visibility

is so important to see visibly happy trans people-

Yeah. In all forms of life

in public.

What does sisterhood mean to you as a trans woman

and how important is it specifically to a trans woman?

So important.

Okay. I can't imagine my life

without other trans women in it.

Yeah. A lot of those experiences

that we think are unique to us, they're actually shared.

Yeah. And we're all feeling them,

but oftentimes we don't share them out of shame

or out of, you know, isolation,

so having sisters in your life allows you to feel seen.

[Speaker In Blue] Yeah.

Sane, [laughs] understood,

and I think optimistic.

Yeah, I think it's super important.

I just can't imagine doing this without you guys in it.

D'you know what I mean?

I think you don't give yourself enough

credit for the way you treat the younger generation

and make us all feel safe

and not hate the word mother, but you are a mother to us.

Always age, [speaker in blue laughs]

any opportunity- No, guys,

it's not that. [laughs] To age me this one.

But I do think like you've changed all our lives

and made our lives a lot easier

and you have, you know, laid the foundations for-

Thank you. You know,

the way we get treated in the media now.

Well, it's a community effort,

isn't it? Yeah.

And like with all of the girls that came before me-

Yeah, oh yeah. 100%. I wouldn't be here

without that. Yeah.

If it wasn't for like April Ashley.

Yeah. Caroline Cossey.

[Speaker In Blue] Yeah.

If it wasn't for Octavia St. Laurent.

Yeah. And all of these

incredible women that I saw growing up

in like the 90s, and before I was even born.

I think it's a really beautiful thing

that we can pass on

to each other. Yeah.

Everything that we've learned, the community,

especially in London, of trans women has become so strong.

Yeah. Even if we don't

all see eye to eye-

Yeah. We're all very different-

Yeah. As we are alike.

I think that there's a common thread of sisterhood

that if push comes to shove-

Mm-hmm. If it goes down

for any of us, we are all there for each other.

What can cis people, when other members

of the LGBTQ+ community do to be better allies

for the trans community?

We can't expect to have trans rights protected

if we're not standing up for abortion rights.

Yeah. We can't expect

women's rights to be protected

if we're not supporting

trans women. What did you put

in your story the other day

about the whole PIP situation?

Oh, and we did disability rights.

It's almost like

people think that being- I think like everyone.

Yeah, people think that being a disabled person

is a different kind of person,

it's like anyone at any given time can become disabled.

You know, you could have a child who is trans.

Like these are human experiences

and we can't just pick and choose what human

we're going to be supporting.

I think the protection of humanity benefits us all,

but we can't just be seeing humanity through a lens

of cisgender or straight. Yeah. Yeah.

On top of that, just support your trans friends.

I think that's also

really important. Yes.

I think it goes without saying,

And not only being an ally in front of trans people,

call out your boys, like especially men.

Mm-hmm. Like if you hear something

that your guy friends are saying,

you need to sideline your need

or your want to be seen in a certain way

by your guy friends.

That's activism in action.

It's not just about saying the thing online

or supporting a trans person

if you see them be abused in public.

Yeah. It's calling out

your friends as and when it happens,

so that they know that they can't just say whatever

and it's just gonna go down.

I think that that's a big problem with toxic masculinity.

If you are acting mad, then I'm gonna say,

and they'll be like, Do you wanna just calm it down a bit?

Or like, if I was like being wild,

then you would say something. Yeah.

Out of love.

Yeah, 100%. But there's just

no consequences with a lot of male relationships.

It'd be like, Oh- 'Cause they see it as funny.

Social media is such a powerful thing.

I think everyone should use it.

I know that a post doesn't go so far,

but I think, you know,

if everyone spoke up when something happens to us,

it's so funny how many people have a platform.

Yeah. But when, you know,

the whole conversation about us

being banned from women's hospital wards.

Mm. There was barely anyone

that spoke up about that.

Yeah. And I was like,

it's just interesting.

What do people think is gonna be the end result

if the only narrative that we are spoken about within

is one of exclusion, one that paints us out

to be a potential threat?

Yeah. One that says

that trans people aren't real, then it ends up

with dead trans children. Yeah.

I met Brianna Ghey's, mom and her siblings

and they said how much my videos meant to her

and her mom was very, very kind,

and we had a very intimate conversation,

and that was really hard to listen to.

I get really bad imposter syndrome

and I really struggle to think

that what I'm saying, people are listening to,

but to know that that helped her in some way

is just like, it's, yeah.

All of our love to-

Yeah. Brianna's family and friends

because we can't even imagine what you've been going through

and what you continue to go through,

and all of our love to all of the trans kids out there

who are watching this because-

It's very tough. You guys are rock stars.

What does trans joy look like to you?

It's just being comfortable in your own skin.

As you were saying earlier, it's enjoying being trans.

It's feeling confident in your body.

It takes a long time to find your bearings

and find out who you wanna be,

and I think when you finally get to that point,

it's such a lovely experience.

I didn't see it as any different to cis joy-

Yeah. Being happy. Other than our lives

are like filled with so much adversity

that when you see a trans person

being happy despite all of that,

it does mean a lot outside of fashion

and outside of the entertainment industry,

when do you really hear positive trans stories?

It's like we're [giggles] really exposed

to so much tragedy. Yeah.